I’m always getting compliments and comments on what a strong and brave woman I am. But why? Because I act tough and can walk the walk when I say I’m gonna kick someone’s ass? Or is it because I normally could give a shit less what is going on around me, as long as my family and I are safe? Or is it simply because I can forgive? I think that has a lot to do with it.
But it’s taken me a long time to learn how to forgive. A LONG TIME. But one day it finally clicked. You can never be happy or at peace with yourself if you cannot forgive the other person. I never forget what is done to me in physical hurt, mental anguish, or betrayal… because once an awful thing happens to someone, it, in a way, molds them into the better person when they overcome that obstacle.
I have been dealing with something so awful in my life these past couple of days, and let me just tell you; I want to give up on this person so bad; wash my hands clean of them, learn the lesson, and move on. But I’m stronger (dumber) than that. This very person who betrayed me was the one who taught me, over time, to learn to forgive. But I still want to hurt them. Whether it’s physically or emotionally; part of me wants revenge. But my smarter and stronger half wants to forgive (not forget or excuse the horrible awful), and love this person more.
So, I guess this is, in essence, the true meaning of strength; to pick up the pieces (no matter how disheveled and damaged), forgive, and put those pieces back together. I really hope my new found faith will give me reassurance and peace in this process. We shall see the outcome in due time.