In honor of Mental Health Awareness Month, I have decided to write a few editorials on topics I find important and interesting. I have had depression for as long as I can remember, and with things that have happened over the last couple of years (losing my father, losing my uncle, postpartum), it has escalated… I always hear this shit I am about to list, from friends, family, my husband… And although you think you are helping/comforting me in saying these things, you actually are not, so heed this warning now: Don’t say this shit to me (or any depressed person) again, ASSHOLES.
Depression: Severe despondency (low spirits caused by loss of hope or courage), and dejection (depressed state) typically felt over a period of time and accompanied by feelings of hopelessness and inadequacy.
- You just need to think positively. Ok, jerk… I’m depressed, not a pessimist. I find the positive in almost everything when most people refuse to. I have lots to be positive about: new house, my child, my husband, my siblings, etc. Plus, when someone with depression is having a “down” moment, this is not what they want to hear. It’s like saying, “I know you’re depressed, but that’s not a real thing.” So just shut the fuck up about some positive thinking, ok? Negative or positive thinking has NOTHING to do with depression; not all the time, anyways.
- Why don’t you pray or go to church? What in the hell are you actually saying to me right there? I understand that we all need spiritual healing, but that’s supposed to fix my problems? All of them? Well shit, I should have been praying and going to church a long time ago… NOT. Again, this is not helping….
- Everyone feels sad sometimes. Well, good for them, I’m glad they have feelings. But guess what? I’m not sad ALL THE TIME. Just when I think about my dad… Other than that, I’m not necessarily sad all the time. I’ve just lost some hope, that’s all. Being “sad” is a feeling, not a condition. I gain more hope all the time, but it’s a work in process. And sometimes I feel inadequate, but not always sad. Asshat.
- Go out and have some fun! Ummm, just because I don’t go out, it doesn’t mean that I don’t have fun. What the shit? Of course, I do enjoy going out on occasion, who doesn’t? Most of the time though, I am excited to be home, spending time with my husband and son. They’re good times, most of the time. 🙂
- Just meditate and do yoga and you’ll be just fine. Okay, hippie. I’ll let ya know how that pans out. I just prefer to medicate and vegetate if I’m feeling depressed. Plus, I don’t like to sweat (pretty sure we’ve covered that already), and my brain does way to much to just slow down and clear out. Not happening.
- Most people are worse of than you. This one really pisses me off. Mother fucker, I never said anything about being “bad off” or “having it worse than anyone else.” Fuck you and the high horse you rode in on. I hope you fall off and break your neck, so you can join those other people that “are worse off than me.”
- What do you have to be depressed about? Like I’m not allowed to be down. My husband asks me this from time to time, and I want to punch him in the face. But I don’t. Because I know there are finally more things for me to be happy about in my life than there are to be depressed about. The main thing is the loss of my father. It still haunts me daily.
- It’s all in your head. And my fist is about to be all in your head. Dude, the only thing that is in my head is my brain, and its telling me that you are a fucking dumb ass.
- Snap out of it. Out of what?! I’m not in a trance or anything, douche lord. One doesn’t simply get up and walk away from their problems, trust me, I’ve tried. And since “it’s all in my head,” I can’t get up and out of that shit, now can I? Shut up.
And the worse one of all:
- Stop feeling sorry for yourself. Why would you say something so insensitive and cruel? Someone with depression, although they seem like it, are not feeling sorry for themselves. In fact, they want to be better… And they refuse to feel sorry for themselves. I understand that I don’t speak for everyone in the world who has depression, so if you are feeling sorry for yourself, that’s okay too. And no one should ever have the right to say this to you. This will definitely send a depressed person spiraling out of control, and it showcases the fucking cunt you are. If you are saying this to a depressed person, please stop, for crying out loud. They already feel hopeless, courage-less, and inadequate. They don’t need a self-righteous dick to tell them this.
Thanks for reading. Please remember that depression is a clinical matter and it is no joke. If you think you may have depression, please see your doctor to seek treatment options. If you you are depressed or know someone who is, share below some of the awful things you have heard.