If We’re Going to be Best Friends…

So, I read lots of blogs, and I kept seeing this title across the forums, “Things You Need to Know If We Are Going to Be Best Friends.” I thought it would be fun to create my list, if you will, as kind of a “get to know me…

I hate for my shoestrings to be uneven. Seriously, it drives me nuts, and I guess it throws off my Chi, because I obsess over it all day, if I don’t fix it when I see it. Ridiculous, I know. But it will put me in a bad mood.

I have super-sonic hearing. Just ask my husband. I can hear him mumble and whisper; and chances are, I can hear you too. Also, if you can’t hear what is going on in the booth next to us, or even a table 50 feet away while we’re dining out, don’t worry. I can tell you the conversation. I’ve done honed in on that shit minutes ago..

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I hate shaving, but I hate hair. It’s a vicious cycle. So, if I am wearing pants in the hot sun, you can bet shaving did not occur. If I am wearing capris, I only shaved to my mid calf. If I’m wearing shorts, I put in a hard day’s work.

I think I’m dying, every day. I am a hypochondriac. I have illnesses you wouldn’t understand. If I think I’m having a heart attack, be a dear and pull up WebMd on your phone for me. If I’m having an anxiety attack, please do yourself a favor and take me to the hospital.

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I’m highly medicated. For your safety and others. My medications work, but they are pushed to their limits daily.

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I don’t like to shop. But I do like stuff. Please do not drag me out on an all-day excursion. I’ll do it once a quarter or some shit, so you will remain my friend. If that’s what it takes, I’ll do it. For you.

I’m territorial. Over my family, friends, my stuff… nuff said.

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I am OBSESSED with The Walking Dead. And that’s putting it lightly. So, please do not bother me on Sunday nights at 9-10 est. from about the middle of October to December and then mid February to the last of March. It will stop our friendship DEAD in its tracks if you do. (See what I did there)?

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I expect a lot of things out of my phone. And it is always near me, most usually in my hand. I want to download all the apps! But I only have 8 GB of memory, so I have to calm my tits. Of course, I have the staples; FB, Pinterest, Twitter, Pod Casts… But I want more! And I want to store EVERY picture I have ever taken on it, on it. But sometimes I have to transfer them to my computer so I can continue to take pictures. First World Problems.

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Going on a substantial “supply run” makes me feel like mom/wife of the year. Or in non-TWD watcher fashion: going to the grocery store. Nothing like the feeling of keeping your family fed. And its exciting to eat all of the new stuff! That’s when I’m sure I gain the most weight…

I am not an animal fan. I don’t hate animals or abuse them or anything, I just prefer not to have them myself. I promise I will be nice to your pet. I really want a cat (I like those), but my husband is allergic. :/ Damn the luck…

I cuss- a lot. Like most of the time, its literally every. other. word. out of my mouth. I like to cuss, and I don’t feel like that makes me any less of a lady, or any less classy or educated as you… More immature, sure, I’ll give you that.

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I hate for my lips to be dry. No explanation there. If you must get me gifts, get me chap stick. I more than likely need some anyways.

I like poking fun of everything. Including myself. So, chances are, I will poke fun of you too. Suck it up, buttercup.

I am obsessed with outer-space and space travel. So much that I fantasize about going to space, all. the. time. My husband calls me a space cadet. Fell free to call a space cadet too. I kind of like it. Also, I need $200,000 to ride on Virgin Galactic when it starts taking trips into space. Thanks.

I have a horrible sense of fashion. Sorry you have to be seen with me.

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I forget words- please help me. I will also forget the conversation that we are currently having, while in the middle of a sentence.

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I’m pretty sure I have ADHD. My mom says its called being an adult with a small child. I call it… Oh look! A cat! ADHD.

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I do not like to go a day without a shower. I will be a whiny bitch in the apocalypse.

I am very inquisitive. Or nosy, whatever you prefer.. I get that honest (*coughs* grandma *coughs*).

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I have never broken a bone. I know, crazy, right? As clumsy as I am…

I am obsessed with Greek yogurt. To the point that I refuse to eat regular yogurt now.

I will eat anything. I don’t care. I don’t discriminate.

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So, now you know all about me… Still wanna be friends?!? Tell me a couple of things that I need to know about you!

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7 thoughts on “If We’re Going to be Best Friends…

  1. Oh, I’m with you on the animal thing – at least with kids they’ll one day grow up to take care of their own poo – and the phone thing. My iPhone memory is nearly full and I’ve deleted anything that’s not ‘vital’ to my life (I even deleted Candy Crush, but FB, Pinterest & a bazillion photos have GOT to stay).
    I’m with you on the shaving too. Too wussy to wax, too lazy to shave every day. I can’t be bothered to wash my hair every day either. It’s a frizzy hell without straightening, and there just aren’t enough hours in a day to do that always.
    My own personal OCD is to match my clothes pegs to the clothes when I’m hanging the washing. It’s takes longer, but it keeps me happy.

    Liked by 1 person

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