As all we mothers know, motherhood is so fulfilling… But it can also be a pain in the ass. I was thinking about all the things that I so love about being a mom (trying to be positive here), but then all of the things that I strongly dislike started popping up to. So, I’ve compiled a list (two actually) of the top ten loves and loathes that I have about being a mommy. Enjoy:
- My kid (obviously). He’s so gorgeous, smart as a whip, hilarious as hell, and my saving grace. This kid totally came into my life at the right time. They say things happen for a reason. There’s my proof.
- I am still eating for two and I dare anyone to say anything about it.
- Maternity clothes. Yep, still rocking the pants and shorts from time to time. Sue me.
- Going to the park and not having to feel like you are being looked at as a pedophile. I actually had a kid ask my husband and I at the pool where our kid was, and when we told her we didn’t have one, she asked, “Then why are you here then?” We left after that.
- That huge smile accompanied with a hug, and an excited, “MOMMA!!!” When I pick him up from daycare.
- You get to read all of those children books that you loved as a child, again.
- You get to do stupid shit (without judgment) to get your child to laugh instead of cry.
- Little clothes. Little toes. Little fingers. Little bellies. Baby lotion.
- TOYS! TOYS! TOYS! Need I say more?!
- Milestones. Watching my child reach important stages in his life. It makes me proud and makes me feel like we’re doing something right. (Affirmation).
- Formula. That shit stinks. And it’s expensive. Glad we are past that.
- Dirty diapers. That shit stinks too.
- Having to read all those children’s books you loved as a child; over and over and over and over… Catch my drift?
- You have to do stupid shit (almost to the point of hurting yourself) to make your kid laugh instead of cry. Most of the time this is out of desperation.
- Little clothes; add up to big laundry piles. Just ask my husband…
- TOYS! TOYS! TOYS! Especially the ones that make noise; they are annoying and I’ve been scared a time or two in the middle of the night by them. AND… you step on them. I’m constantly doing that.
- TEMPER TANTRUMS. Liam is of that age that he will throw the hugest fit to get his way. Over it!!! I would rather have my fingernails pulled off one by one with a set of pliers than to hear that kid scream.
- Bottles, Sippy Cups, Pacifiers. I hate washing all of that shit. Or having to hear a fit being thrown when we wont fill up another bottle or sippy when he already has one, or when we can’t find his pa-pa (pacifier).
- Shots. I hate seeing my baby get shots at his well baby visits. Breaks my heart in two to see him hurt.
- The inability to do absolutely ANYTHING without an audience. I cannot bathe without a peeping Tom (or should I say Liam), always pointing at my boobs and saying “boobies.” He also loves to throw things in there with me when I am not paying attention (think toilet bowl brush.. which now gets put up high). And just what in the hell would I do without my “assistant” helping me flush or getting me a mile of toilet paper when I’m going potty?!?!?!
Ahhhh Motherhood… Wouldn’t change it for the world.